Show & Tell
by LittleLizzieZentara
Summary: Kate hadn't been this nervous since…well, ever. It shouldn't be this difficult. She had told him she wanted him. She had given him her body. She had shown him in numerous ways how she felt. But she hadn't told him. Three weeks of dating and she hadn't said the words. Possible spoilers for all episodes, including the promo and sneak peeks for 5x02.


**As with my previous story, this was inspired by my frustration that Kate has yet to say 'I love you' to Castle. Although this was originally going to be an epilogue for 'The Words She Used' it evolved into a compeletely separate story. Nothing from that story has happened in this one, except for the scene from the promo that inspired both stories. In case you haven't read the other story, I am referring to the scene where Kate catches Castle with a bikini-clad woman straddling a fully clothed Castle.**

**Disclaimer: If I owned it, 'The Words She Used' would be cannon. It's not, so I don't. Although wouldn't it be awesome if my guess was more accurate than I could even hope for? :)**

_So, you think I should tell him how I feel? _Lanie: _Yes. You hunt killers for a living. You can do this._ 4x20 'The Limey

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Kate hadn't been this nervous since…well, ever.

It shouldn't be this difficult. She had told him she wanted him. She had given him her body. She had shown him in numerous ways how she felt.

But she hadn't told him. Three weeks of dating and she hadn't said the words.

Neither had Castle. She could try to use that as an excuse, except for the fact that she knew the only reason he held back was to keep from making her feel pressure to say the words back.

He had already said it. Two times or four, depending on how she chose to look at it.

Once (or twice) when she lay bleeding out from a gunshot wound.

And once (or twice) when he had tried to keep her from going after the man who had inflicted that wound.

Since then she knew he had been careful to keep those three words from passing his lips.

As with everything else, he was content to wait until she was ready.

She was ready now.

She _was._

It was just…

She wasn't sure what it was, exactly.

It wasn't like she had never said that to a man before.

Once she had actually meant it.

Kate wasn't proud of the fact that she had lied about how she felt. But after she dated a man for a certain length of time, the words were expected.

She and Will had even had a fight about it. They'd been dating for a little over two months when he'd brought up that she never said the words back to him. So she did. She waited until the next day, so that he wouldn't catch on to the fact that she'd only done it to prevent further arguments.

How sad was that?

Thankfully she hadn't dated Tom long enough for what she said, or didn't say, to become an issue.

With Josh there had been no pressure. She had even said it first. Seeing Josh at the precinct with Castle had caused her to panic. What if Josh realized how much the writer meant to her? The worry had prompted her to say the words before she'd even realized what she was doing.

Kate had liked each one of those men.

She _had_.

But 'really like' was as strong as her feelings ever went.

Except with Royce.

Only with Royce had she meant the words. And they had never even dated.

Maybe that was why.

Saying the words when she didn't mean them was easy.

Saying them when the truth of the words permeated every fiber of her being?

Next to impossible.

It required a level of vulnerability that she hadn't been capable of since her mom was killed. Even with Royce, she hadn't said the words until most of those feelings were little more than a faint memory. And the words could be masked as a ploy to bring him to justice.

Was she even capable of that level of vulnerability with Castle?

She wasn't sure.

But she wanted to be.

No.

She would be.

Starting now.

A feeling of de ja vu hit her when Kate reached Castle's loft. The sky started dumping rain as soon as she got out of her vehicle. By the time she walked through the lobby doors her hair hung in wet stringy clusters down her back.

Castle had left early to keep an appointment with his publicist, Paula, about the contract for the next set of Nikki Heat novels. Kate had promised him she would come over to the loft as soon as she wrapped up the paperwork for their latest case.

Her hand shook as she knocked on the door. It was almost like an odd sort of PTSD. It made her fleetingly wonder what type of toll the weeks their relationship had been strained had taken on her. Intellectually, she knew things were completely different now. Still, she couldn't get the image of his aloof greeting, the coldness of his tone, out of her head.

Then the door opened. And there stood Castle, practically beaming at her.

That's when it clicked.

Kate knew exactly how she wanted to tell Castle.

Not giving him a chance to say anything, Kate gripped his shoulders and in one fluid motion closed the distance between them. Castle's lips parted, whether to meet her fast approaching lips or ask a question Kate didn't know. Or, at this particular moment, care.

Any lingering fears Kate may have had were erased when Castle pulled her close, his arms strong but tender around her waist. When he tilted his head to change the angle of the kiss, Kate parted her lips in silent invitation. Not needing to be asked twice, Castle lightly bit her lip, causing her to moan as that action always did, before beginning to explore her mouth with his eager and inquisitive tongue. In seconds Kate was clinging to him, kissing him back with reckless abandon.

It wasn't until Castle broke the kiss to start lightly sucking at her pulse point that she was able to gasp, "Love you." As caught up in the moment as she was, Kate didn't want another chance to slip by.

Castle froze, his lips motionless against her throat.

Kate wondered if he thought he had only imagined her saying the words. Eager to dispel any doubts, she said it again, uncaring of the breathlessness of her delivery. "Love you."

When he still didn't move, Kate slid her hands down his chest and rested her hands against hips. Flexing her hands lightly, Kate whispered the words, "I love you, Castle."

Castle still didn't move.

He must be in shock.

She needed to touch him.

Well, she _was _touching him. But she needed to feel skin.

Kate lifted the hem of his shirt and settled a hand against his stomach. This time she said the words slowly and distinctly. "I love you."

With her other hand she took one of his hands from her waist and lifted it to her mouth so she could run a kiss across the knuckles. She said the words again before turning his hand so she could kiss the palm.

"Castle?" Kate thought about other times she had rendered him speechless and a tender smile graced her lips. "Castle, you need to breathe."

Her guess was proven right when the writer sucked in a burst of air on a loud gasp. He pulled back just enough so that he could look into her eyes with a searching gaze.

"Kate?" It took a few more seconds, but Castle finally spoke. "Did you really just say-?"

Kate couldn't help but giggle. She'd known there was a potential for her words to throw him off-kilter, but even she hadn't expected him to react quite so strongly.

"I did, and I'll say it again," Kate said. "I love you, Castle."

And there was that adorably goofy grin that she had first seen when she had assured him that their first night together was only the beginning.

"Me, too," he said. "I love you too, Kate. You have no idea how much."

"I might have _some_ idea," Kate countered, her eyes dancing with amusement.

"Why now?"

Kate knew what he was asking.

"It was time," she explained. "I was ready to say it and I was tired of waiting. Tired of making you wait to hear it. Tired of waiting to get up the courage to say it."

"You don't have to be afraid to tell me anything, Kate," Castle said. "That least of all."  
"I know," Kate said. "It's just that-"

"It's hard to say it when you actually mean it?"

Kate loved how he was able to do that.

"Yeah."

"I've known for a while how you feel," Castle told her. "But I'm glad you were able to say it."

Unable to resist the temptation that was Rick Castle, Kate brushed her lips lightly over his before responding with a fervent, "Me, too.".

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**Hopefully both those who wanted me to write the epilogue and those who didn't will be happy with the compromise that is this story.**


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